What I Learned About Parenting from the “Super Farrah Look-Alike Contest”

This post has been, quite literally, years in the making.

About 25 years ago, while kids and even marriage were still dreams in our futures, my college friend Casey told me the following story from her childhood. Even though I cried with laughter at the time, I stored it away because I knew that when I became a parent, I would want to remember the beauty of the wisdom behind it. In fact, I have pulled up this memory many times during the years. While I haven’t been perfect at this — or any — part of parenting, I know her story influenced my way of thinking:

Casey was nearly 9 1/2 in the Spring of 1977. She loved playing softball, tennis, and card games. She ate bologna sandwiches and sang along with Shaun Cassidy’s “Da Doo Ron Ron.” She watched The Bionic Woman on television, and, like any fan-girl her age, was devoted to the current issues of Teen Beat and Dynamite.

But most of all, she loved Farrah Fawcett.

 

 

It was the ’70s — who didn’t love Farrah? She had the hair: feathery, blonde wings that graced her girl-next-door face so beautifully. She had the stardom: a relatively short-lived, but well-remembered, role as detective Jill Munroe on the classic TV show, Charlie’s Angels. And, of course, she had the body. Farrah, at age 30, had it going on.

So when the opportunity came to enter a Farrah Fawcett look-alike contest, Casey was all over it. Never mind that she was not yet 10. Never mind that her hair didn’t hold wings quite like Farrah’s. Never mind that her pre-teen body had a lot of catching up to do.

And never mind that my beautiful, brunette friend, with eyes the color of chocolate and a smooth, olive complexion that tans easily in the sun, looked Nothing. Like. Farrah.

 

 

When she saw the advertisement, Casey couldn’t wait to enter the contest. She pulled out her best tennis skirt, the cutest short sleeve shirt she could find and hopped on her skateboard, striking a familiar pose while her Mom smiled from behind the camera.

 

 

Needless to say, Casey didn’t win the “Super Farrah Look-Alike Contest.” I’m going to hazard a guess and say it wasn’t even close. While I love this story because it shows my friend’s determination and courage (and not to mention the laughs I’ve had about it through the years), Casey isn’t the hero of this childhood tale. The real hero is Casey’s mother.

As Moms, we want to protect our children from anything that might potentially embarrass or hurt them — physically or emotionally. Too often we rush to jump in front of a speeding Nerf bullet, or pluck them from a play group because we sense playground tension when really, they’re just working out the world around them. We sometimes discourage our children from trying new things not because we don’t believe in our kids, but because we’ve packed our parenthood pockets with real or imagined memories of our own past failures and disappointments.

Casey’s mother might have been tempted to dissuade her daughter from entering the contest, but she didn’t. She didn’t offer up obvious comparisons about hair, shape, or clothes. Instead, she let Casey take a chance, and imagine, if just for a little while, that she did look like Farrah Fawcett.

Social media has created an age of insta-fame, and rightly we are more protective of our kids than our ’70s parents were. We protect their safety, of course, and also their dignity. But in all of our protecting and helicoptering, I hope we haven’t lost sight of one of the most important aspects of parenting: Encouraging our kids to give their dreams a shot — no matter how far-fetched they seem. Summer is upon us, and that’s a perfect time to encourage them to dream big, take a crack at it, and see what happens. They might not succeed, but at least they’ll have a story to tell.

I think Casey’s mother would be proud.